I want to start by saying i love my gf so much i truly do love her so much and i won't ever leave her and overall im happy and she makes me feel good about myself as well as happy when im with her. Gives me this new found confidence just to be around her. She is everything to me and if i am to be honest far to good for me but yet i've got her just about.
So anyway i can't say how much i love her so you'll have to take my word for it but how do i stop this or what do i do about it? Or do i just grit me teeth and do nothing because i love her so much.
It seems to me like its 1 rule for me and another 1 for her at times, she's being stuff recently that just made me think "Come on how is this fair". Example – We were at home and she was angry about something or another and i did what i always do when she's angry and calmed her down i didn't say anything negative or bad and we sat there for a while then at random she jumps up goes and gets changed and says "going out back later" (i want to add i trust her 100% and know she wouldn't cheat as all her relationships have ended on her being cheated on and she feels so bad about it, i only bring it up because my mate suggested it and i know she wouldn't and people here might suggest it but i know she wouldn't so no point in wasting time typing that) so anyway i was sitting there kinda confused thinking i did something wrong as i didn't even get a kiss or anything she just walked out and i was bit upset so i called a mate and he came round cheered me up and we played Playstation then she comes back a while later and see's me with him and starts getting angry so i tell my mate to wait in the living room go and see her and she says "f*** off to your friend and if you have time for your gf come back later"….(or something along those lines anyway) i mean come on whats that about? confusion or what.
Another one right, A while ago i got in contact with a old friend and he used to be my best and when we talked we were just as close as we were when we ended and i was like how are you and he said "Not well, My gf left me she aborted the baby we were going to have and she was cheating on me, she ran off to some man she met through me and took both my kids up there" now as he is such a good friend and we get on so well and i like him so much i of course wanted to be there for him so we talked and he vented and i helped and then my gf was upset at the same time and i was going to speak with her straight after i spoke with him and she started to get angry at me really got worked up and we had a massive row because she says i wasn't there for her but i was i just wanted to spend couple hours helping a mate then i was hers all night and in the end i spent the whole night making up for it and she forgave me and we said our sorrys and made up and were like a happy normal couple as usual. Last night i was down and she was in same situation, with a friend who she hadn't seen in some time and he had just come out of hospital (nothing serious or fatal) and she spent time with him but i needed her and i didn't get any alone time with her at all because they spent the longest time with each other and after a certain point i said "im going to bed im too tired" i didn't wait for her or stop up but just as well i didn't as she didn't follow me up or see if anything was wrong i even had a little cry and i didn't want to wait for her as from where im sitting its like she made a choice on who to comfort and it wasn't me. A close friend of OURS said that i am right and it is one rule for me and another for her but what do i do about it? Nothing?
Suggestion:
You guys are both damaged goods.
If we believe your whole story (you are probably telling the truth, since you obviously naval gazed over every little detail exactly like a seventh grader in their first relationship) then you should have realized that she's not treating you well and you should end this relationship
What are you waiting for?
Your whole life is melodramatic nonsense and while you've got the convenient excuse of this girl to prevent you from having to think about yourself and your own achievements/goals/direction then you can wallow in the excrement. The whole time indulging in the fantasy that you're being such a great guy for putting up with it all and being so sensitive.
The reality: you are insecure.
The reality: she enjoys treating people badly (and probably lies a lot)
The reality: each of you is blocking the other from becoming more mature since you're stuck in this stupid cycle
Why are you still here reading this? Get off the internet and get away from this girl and get your life together.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I'm sorry, but from what is written here I think she is not the princess you would like to think. It matters not how you feel about her. What matters is how she treats you. She seems to be an emotional abuser. No one should tell anyone they "love" to "*uck off", or hold you to the old "its me or your friends" game.
She is self absorbed and I don't think she will grow out of it anytime soon. I do not think this is a healthy relationship.
Good luck to you. I hope you can come to happiness.
Show her how much you love her and she must know everything that u have done for her!! Take a day or just an hour with her and say how much u feel, love and care about her!! And then accept anything from her.I think this will be the best for you!!
LOVE IS DANGEROUS
by the sounds of it i dont think your girlfriend knows how much of a decent guy she has, seems she has some issues herself like insecurity and thinks she 'owns' you, at the end of the day you need friends aswell as a girlfriend. sounds stupid but have you talked to her about it? maybe u need a short break and then she might realise what she is missing an appreciate you more. if you dont want a break just make her feel how she is making you feel, and if it works explain why you did it and that thats how she makes you feel. good luck hope you get it sorted
Ok, after reading through the entire question and the details, I understand that leaving her is not on option for you at this time. However, with this being said, her hypocrisy needs to be addressed. You need to approach it tactfully and not as if you are attacking her. But you do need to talk about your feelings with her if your relationship stands a chance. Yes, you are both "damaged goods" – aren't we all? True love realizes the dents and scratches from previous experiences and recognizes them not as defects but as unique. One thing in the additional details that jumps out at me as a warning light is that you have talked about starting a family. Right now, you are not even close to being ready. You both need to be on the same page before that can even be a consideration. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If she doesn't expect you to get upset at her for spending time with her friends, then she can't get upset at you for spending time with yours – especially if the friend is in some sort of crisis situation. You say you trust her. The big question here is – does she really trust you?
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