Husband Stays Up Late to Play Ps3 I Later Find Hes Chatting with Girls Prvt Message and Video Chat?

Well hes been doing this awhile, I looked at his ps3 messages 5 mnths ago and it sparked my intrest when he was telling a girl 'i missed you' and 'good nite and be sure to smile' and when I catch him he constantly denys. Its fine to play online with those skanks, but I dont see why a couple of them need his phone number? And sending photos to each other? He lies and says 'oh thats my cousin sending me a photo of his GF..i call the girls numbers and they hang up on me. He will hide thier number under a mans name
I do so much for him and he does see it, I work, I cook, i clean, i run all the aronds..He doesn't work during winter because of seasonal job, I asked him if i should get a 2nd job he says 'oh thats fine' each night I try to pull him away from the game but he will stop playing to go pee and give me a hug or say hi and thats it for the night. This week a girl i caught him chatting with til 4am drunk (claimed it was his sister at 1st (lie) then admitted he ALSO chatting with a girl..well she all week has been sending 'why are u ignorin me??' WTF?' Why cant we chat'? Which is strange…
Im scared and considered talking to my old guy friends for comfort because I feel alone. He flips if i even go to a chic friends house for the evening because i am BORED watching him play. I feel I cannot trust him after all the lies (also cheating before we were married)
I dont know about a divorce..but i was thinking a trial separation.
any other girls dealing with this?

I have read very carefully what you have written here and I really feel for you.

Unfortunatley you are married to a large child with an addiction to on-line gaming sites as you are aware. You have very big reasons to have trust issues with your husband and he knows this as well. He is choosing to do what he likes, talk to who he likes and when he likes, he is lying to you and when caught, doesn't seem to give to much thought to the fact he has a problem and has you thinking of separation. Huge, huge, huge issues.

Given the fact that your husband gets angry with you and is displaying jealousy….I have been there and had that done, had it happen to me and it took me a while to work out why I was being treated this way.

It has happened to other friends of mine and it is always the same reason. They are deflecting their guilt onto you. They know you are not doing anything wrong but while they carry on about not trusting you and questioning you where you are going, who you are talking to, what you are doing with your spare time…this serves their purpose well. It takes the focus off them and puts it on you, making you feel guilty about even small things. This takes the spotlight of their cheating altogether and leaves you less likely to question their continued cheating and bad habits. Gives them freedom to get away with even more.

Your husband has cheated on you in the past and it is no different now. Even if he hasn't cheated physcially that you know of right at the moment, give him half a chance and he will. He has done it before as you stated and will do it again. This is not the way to conduct a marriage and have your partner trust you.

I would sit him down and tell him that he is going to listen to you while you do the talking and not to interupt. Tell him that is very very important and about his future with you and if he isn't willing to listen , instead of being a huge child glued to a stupid game, then what you were going to say you just wont bother with…..talk to my back as I walk out the door.

I would further tell him the following:

I don't trust you, I have caught you lying multiple times and you have cheated on me in the past. I am going to the doctors to get some blood tests and make sure you have not passed on any STI's to me. So if you have anything to tell me, tell me now and if it is not the truth the blood tests will tell the truth even if you won't.

Tell him that the future of your marriage depends on him realising he has an addiction and a huge problem that is causing you not to want to be in this marriage at the moment. Tell him his problems belong to him and him alone and only he can fix his problems. You will support him but will not be blamed for his set of problems that you had nothing to do with in creating them and making them the monster that is destroying your marriage.

I hope you get through to him. He also needs to get off his backside and do something more about supporting you both instead of allowing you to do all the work. It will get to a stage where you will be the only one working and his addiction with completely rule your lives. I hope to god he wakes up to himself and see's that you have had enough on top of his lying and cheating. Time for him to be a grown up and I would not hesitate in telling him that either.

All the very very best to you. I hope it works out for you.