"I hate being around you" after she said that I started crying and said "don't worry, you make it obvious, I already picked that up." I am so scared to be around her, she ignores everything I say, and blanks me.
She never tells me she loves me
She tells me me and my sister were mistakes, she only wanted boys, never girls. If we were boys she could of named us 'Oscar and Milo'. After she said we were mistakes I asked her if my brother was and she was like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO of course not!!!!! He was planned."
All my life, i've been good. I've never got a detention, no bad grades, never missed doing a piece of homework, cooked my own meals for my self since I was nine, showered my self since I was 9, asked my mom for anything, but I do kind of repeat things and thats why she hates me, the thing is I have PCOS syndrome, underactive thyroid, and high hormone levels so I'm always feeling ill and I'm not on pills yet. but this causes me to constantly feel ill, I am going through a lot lately, and need someone to talk to. My favorite aunt who used to always be there for me, moved to another country last year.
My brother is a menace, he pees on things, he always has his hands down his pants playing with his penis and touching things, his very dirty, has a bathe/shower once every 2 weeks, He doesn't do anything, he doesn't make his bed, he doesn't cook or anything, messes up the house, has no boundaries, makes his own rules, has never ever done any home in his whole life, has a detention everyday. I have a room the size of a box, all it fits is my bed, my sisters room is even smaller than mine. he has the biggest room in the house his 8 times the size of ours, every christmas I just get a photo frame or some thing small, last year he got a
- PSP
- PS3 SLIM 250GB
- BMX BIKE
- 11 PS3 GAMES
- 9 PSP GAMES
- LOADS OF CLOTHES
- A BLACKBERRY
- A MINI LAPTOP
- OTHER THINGS
and he just threw it without saying "Thanks".
I was crying cause all I got was a photo frame, and a make up palette. and my sister got the same as me.
I just feel so alone, I actually hate my self, I just slit my arms with a knife
I would say to my mom on the phone "bye, love you" she says "uh humm" and puts the phone down. My brother says "bye, love you" she says "bye love you and miss you baby"
After she said to me "just my luck to have a kid like you" that really hurt, because I cook and clean everyday, I cook for the whole family, every damn day, I babysit for her when she's working and even my uncle who stayed over for the week said he was so disgusted at my parents cause I done to much, I was treated like a slave and I never got to sit down.
When I told her to say about my brother "Just my luck to get a kid like him" She sweared she would never say that about him, no matter what.
She's on medication, she says things and then says she didn't. but I recorded her saying things and my dad was shocked.
He thought it would be fun to punch the glass door, so he did and glass feel everywhere, it shattered the whole room. All she did was say "baby are youu okkkkk"
I was smoking shisha with my sister (I've never tried a cigarette, or alcohol, or ever had sex or nothing in my life) but shisha/hookah was giving to me from my friend so I thought why not try it, so I did and I got a little shaky and a tiny piece of coal feel, and a little burn make was on the wood floor, you could barely see it, only if you look close, I quickly picked it up and burnt my fingers cause I didn't want my mom to see, My mom said to me "you fu–inggggg bi-cc-hhhhhhhhh you dumb c0w im gonna beat your face in and then rip your face off, look what you did, i hate you, get the f— out my house i dont want to see you again"
His 12, I'm 18 and my sister is 16. Since his been born my life has been messed up. I hate it.
She's always trying to get me out the house. My dad doesn't see any of this, he works from 6pm – 6am, 7 days a week, and when his at home he sleeps.
When I was younger, I did nothing, she used force my dad to hit me and my sister with belts, and sometimes he whispered to me "tell your mom I hit you really hard so she doesn't divorce me" but he didn't hit me because he didn't want to. If he EVER hit my brother (he never has) she would kill him.
I feel so unwanted and useless. I just feel like strangling my self, I have attempted suicide twice in one month, about 5 times all together, I tried to strangle my self, hang my self, punch my self, slit my wrists and chest, I do have scars. She doesn't care.
What should I do? Please Don't say your 18 now, get out of the house, I have NO where to go, I have NO money, I di
Suggestion:
It is clear that your mom is mentally ill. You know that if you call the child services you kids will probably be taken away from her. For your own safety and well-being. I know she is your mom, but she is ill and unable to raise children. And your father too, he didnt even try to help. Some people simply do not make suitable parents.
You must agree that a foster home is a far better option than suicide. Go to the social services/police with your sister and those recordings, tell them the whole story, they will believe you. You are being verbally abused, emotionally abused, neglected, discriminated etc.. Several types of abuse. If you don´t want to do it for yourself, at least do it to help your little sister. And your brother as well, he is acting like that because he is being raised like that but he is only a little child, he needs help too. Instead of giving up, be the dynamic big sister and give your siblings a better life. Your mom can get professional help too. No more crying, its time for action now.
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